Time to Leave
Time: 2019
Print: digital print
Limited 1
Time to Leave tells the story of my grandparents. Their memories of the past, expectations towards the future, and fears of death entwine in the present.





Chapter One
The Lottery, Memories and Hometown


Chapter One     The Lottery, Memories and Hometown
To tell you the truth. I’m working on the lottery numbers every day. I’m going to hit the jackpot and go back to Chengdu (capital of Sichuan Province). That’s my goal.  Really? Just wait and see if I can achieve my goal. Did you buy any lottery tickets? Seldom. But I’ll buy it when I get it right. Come on! And the other thing is that if I don’t use my brain, it will become dull like dementia. I am using my brain every day. 
In the military camp, I was a radioman. The meaning of tic-toc was to begin. Tic-tic-toc, tic-tic-tic-toc, 12345678910, those were our jargons. Service code were things like abcdefg. Combined together, they became service symbols. The meaning of toc-toc-tic was to send a telegram.
I was young at that time and I never knew what tiredness was. You can’t even imagine. I’ve been to many places like upper Baozuo, lower Baozuo, Aba, Xiaojin, Jinchuan, Jiuzhi Qinghai and Maqu Gansu. I’ve been to all of these places when suppressing bandits. 
Memories, for previous memories, I always believe that our Sichuan is pretty good.
So do you want to go back to Sichuan? Yes. Then why don’t we go when I graduate? We can go to Longchang (a city in Sichuan) again. Sure.


Chapter Two
Failing in Life


Chapter Two Failing in Life
Are you planning to write an autobiography? What is there to write about for people like us? A lifetime of failure, and achieved nothing. There is nothing to write about. Then what do you think can be called achievements? Ah. I have been a complete failure my whole life! What do you think is success? We have no fame, no social status, no money and no house. What kind of success do we have, um?  Do you feel unhappy?  Everyday life is full of challenges, let alone success. What do you think is a good life? alas! 


Chapter Three
Cannot Live Without You


 Chapter Three Cannot Live Without You
Grandpa is literally inseparable from you. Really? He is talking about you all day long……where is Shunshun? Yesterday was funny. I told him you went to the hospital to do something for someone. I told him: “her mom said just leave her alone, so don’t call her.” But yesterday afternoon he called you secretly, right?  Yes. Was he in a hurry? He seems to be getting clingier and clingier just like a baby, alas.  

这个项目起源于时间的催促。近两年,我发觉爷爷奶奶对我的态度有了微妙的变化,自从爷爷上次生病以后,他们变得非常急迫地想要见我更多面,还会突然交代一些他们死之后的事情。他们感觉到了死亡的临近,于是更珍惜我们在一起的时间,也无法避免地开始反思过去的人生。过去、未来映射在他们的当下,形成一种相互关联的状态。在时间的催促中,我也想要去了解他们的当下的生活状况,了解他们如何反思过去、如何应对死亡。
        什么使他们成为现在的他们?这个作品不断尝试回答这一问题。


1 彩票、回忆与家乡

        第一章展现了爷爷身上的许多谜团:他喜欢研究彩票,虽然买的次数不多,却会很认真地记录每一次的中奖号码,计算出下次开奖的趋势后,再慎重地购买。他还特别喜欢他的家乡四川,每天在电视和电脑上搜集关于四川的一切信息。他计划中彩票后回到家乡买一套大房子。
        我发现这些谜团都跟他年轻时的经历有关。他在四川长大,后来在四川的部队里做通讯员,那是他人生中最快乐的一段时光,他怀念那段美好的经历。他对彩票的痴迷也不仅仅源于想赚钱回到家乡的愿望,而是由于对数字所关联的那段通讯兵经历充满留恋。
2 失败的人生

       
奶奶最令我困惑的地方在于她总是觉得自己活得很失败。她认为自己没有大房子、没有钱、没有文化、也没有地位,是不公平的命运使她经历了如此多的磨难。
        和第一章中被我梳理出的叙事线索不同,第二章的叙事主线是我奶奶亲自撰写的传记。这些文本大部分讲述了她在文革期间的经历,它们被缠绕在这些小档案袋里,连同旧照片一起被红线封住。

3 简直就离不开你

       第三章中主要是爷爷奶奶面对镜头时的照片。有时候他们看向的是镜头中的自己,有时候看向我,因此,他们眼中呈现出的情感在每张照片中都有所不同,有对我的爱与不舍,有刻意的摆拍,也有对镜头所呈现自己的回避与躲闪。
        这个项目尽管以“当下”为切入点,过去与未来却同时牵连而出。

        无论是爷爷的口述还是奶奶的自传,它们都不是纯粹的对过去事件的描述。同样,“即时”的照片也并非仅仅是当下时刻的记录。我们不得不承认,所有过去都指涉着当下,又塑造对未来的期望;死亡的阴影不时降落,强迫人们应对虚空的未来,又不断回溯过去。在过去、现在和未来之间不断纠葛的张力中,他们生命的故事被和盘托出。